It seems like the theme of life has been planning lately. Planning for a new baby. Planning at work. Planning to potty train (SCARY). Planning meals. Budget planning.
It sounds exhausting but I secretly love to plan. Planning provides me the opportunity to sit down, get creative and solve a problem. Even if that problem is only solved on paper I still get that incredible sense of accomplishment. It’s almost an addiction. Whenever life feels out of control, I can take some little piece of it and create this plan of attack that will seemingly make life more manageable for me.
And there it is. The real issue. Planning is my drug that helps me feel like I am really in control of my life. The fact of the matter is… I am so not in control. But when I can sit down and work through a brilliant, masterfully created plan… I feel like I can do anything. I know it sounds really lame and geeky, but it’s who I am.
I am learning a little more everyday that this might not be the best way to live. This is what happens after I create the PERFECT plan… something always changes. Always. Always. Always.
Just when I think that I have everything in life figured out. I’ve balanced our budget. I’ve figured out how to stop my two-year-old’s tantrums, I’ve got 15 meals in my freezer and only spent $200 on groceries this month; I got a great deal on home repairs, I even had some great meetings at work to plan ministry for the next three months…
And then the rug comes right out from under my feet. Something changes. It’s inevitable. Sometimes it’s something difficult and catastrophic, sometimes it’s a change that is good… but it means that my plans have to change. God is working hard to teach me yet another lesson. And for me, God’s lesson is almost always the same:
My plans are better than your plans.
Let me say it again… My plans are better than your plans.
No, really… My plans are better than your plans.
Tia, get over yourself. My plans are better than your plans.
Okay, okay, okay. I get it. I hope. At least I’m trying to get it. Trying to trust. Getting there.