A friend of mine just had her first son about a week ago. Fresh new babies make me wish that E was still so new and teeny. We went to the Dr. last week and he is 25lbs 3oz and 30″. Big dude. He is a little over 8 months and the day he was born feels like an eternity ago. This post will serve as my manifesto of parenthood learnings thus far. Here we go…
1. I have learned that I need far less sleep to actually function that I had ever imagined. I’m not saying that I function WELL, but at least I haven’t given up.
2. I have learned how to walk from one room to another, open two doors, find a pacifier in the dark, locate the mouth of my screaming son, close two doors and get back into bed without opening my eyes.
3. I have become immune to the smell of sour milk.
4. I regularly have conversations about poop.
5. I am now very aware of the intense effect plums have on the digestive system of an infant.
6. I can pick up a pacifier with my toes and put it into my son’s mouth while blow drying my hair.
7. I am going to write a book about parenting based on my experiences at WalMart at 11:30pm on a Tuesday night. It will be more of a “what not to do” kind of book.
8. I know what Ralphie Parker now meant when he said, “my mother hadn’t had a hot meal for herself in 15 years.” At least we have microwaves.
There is more, but my sleep deprived brain can’t collect any more thoughts. It’s been a crazy, wonderful, life-changing 8 months.