Have you ever felt terrible about something for days and days and then finally something happens (a conversation, a comment from a friend, a good laugh…) that makes the tightness in your heart just ease up?
Well… I have. Today is the day. I have been aching and struggling to be better. Trying, working, failing, falling behind… and mostly because a part of me hasn’t been trusting that God can really do in my life (with me) what he has with others. Can God use me like he did Moses? Can God use me like he did Elijah?
The answer today is… absolutely. Why not? Am I not gifted? Am I not likable? Am I not intelligent? A good leader? Perhaps…
But that doesn’t matter. I would like to believe that I have at least a tiny arsenal of gifts and abilities, but that has no bearing on my success as someone who can do the work that God has laid before me. Because… (I need to repeat this to myself loudly and often)… It’s not about me. It’s not about my gifts and my abilities. It’s not about my pride, my self-consciousness, my weaknesses. It is God working mightily through me. So that others may see the power of God.
“My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power.” 1 Corinthians 2:4-5
I have been forging out on my own, depending mostly on me. And let me tell you that it has been disappointing at the very least.
Well, I’m done with that. I am ready to let God do what God can do. It won’t be easy… but I have to give it a shot.