Funny Fest ‘10

It was a spectacular week. There are talks about getting regular comedy nights for amateurs in town going… so I’m in.

I know I’m funny

This week I’m participating in the Fairbanks Funny Festival. I did it last year and had so much fun that I’ve been looking forward to it since then.

I’ve often been the funny one. I remember being in high school, where I wasn’t exactly Little Miss Popularity, that when I had conversations with the Lutheran high school equivalent of the “Heathers”, they would always be doubled over with laughter. Seriously… don’t you ever tell jokes? It was like they had never heard sarcasm before. However, it was a good ego boost for me. I found myself hanging out with friends throughout college who were constantly in competition to say the wittier comment. Who could make a better satirical pop-culture reference in casual conversation. It was very obnoxious… but I liked it and it kept my wit sharp.

Since those days I’ve found myself living in Fairbanks, Alaska. WITHOUT cable. Working in a church. This is not exactly the kind of environment that refines keen wit. HOWEVER… the Funny Festival is one week each year where I get to focus and work on the observations I’ve collected over the past year and really shake out the stuff that’s funny.

So far this year has been fantastic. The teaching comedian, Phil Palisoul, is AMAZING. Not only is he a great comedian, he really is a great coach. He is encouraging and really offers great ideas and insight about the comedy world.

Just like last year, I’m ready to go whenever the Tonight Show calls…  or whenever Jay Leno calls… crap…

Who’s going to call me, there’s no one  left?

Anyways… Saturday. 8pm @ the Blue Loon. I’ll get my 5 minutes on stage and it will be glorious. This year’s topics? Book stores, movie theaters, and bad parenting.

The Story

I just read a post from Donald Miller (on whom I have a gigantic author crush), and he posted a preview video of new resources he’s putting out. In the video he is interviewing Phyllis Tickle, former religion editor at Publishers Weekly. She spoke about the importance of people being able to tell their story because it gives them an understanding of that story that they may not have had before.

I am learning that I have a gift for storytelling. I know that this gift was passed down to my from my father. My dad has always had these really wonderful stories from his growing-up days. I always picture my dad as Ralphie Parker from “A Christmas Story.” His stories of boyhood shenanigans are epic.

My parents came to visit us for Christmas and one night we had some dear friends over for supper. After the meal, the kids and my dad are sitting around the table. I have to get him started, “Dad, tell the kids about the time you and Uncle Jack got stuck on the top of the train that started moving…” And it begins… it’s as if it were yesterday. Dad recalls every detail. He weaves together a story, only slightly exaggerated, that keeps you wondering how he could have even survived his childhood. I’ve heard it a hundred times, but I love the excitement and joy that telling the story brings to his face.

And so he goes… story after story. I check to see if the kids are bored to death, when I hear my 8-year-old friend, Duncan say, “Do you have any more stories?”

My dad is elated. Of course he has more stories. It’s just who he is. My mom and I sit back as he goes deeply into another one about how he burned a hole the linoleum floor with a hot pan filled with popcorn and how he stealthily covered it with a rug (genius!).

We’ve decided that Dad will make videos for Elliot. He’ll tell E all the stories from Dad’s childhood and we’ll call them “Grampumentaries.” E can’t miss out on this stuff. My hope is that I will be able to recall simple events in my story and tell them in such a way that my children will be in awe. That they will know that life is good– even when you don’t have much. They will know that even when you make mistakes (like burn a hole in the floor) that your family still loves you.

I’m working on my story….

Just one tiny corner of the world

As you may have noticed, I’ve recommitted myself to this blog. I have been finding great joy out of writing lately. As a part of “2010: The Year of the Creative Awakening” I am working harder at capturing my mindless drivel… just for you.

The more I write, the more I read other blogs. The more I read other blogs, the more I realize HOW MANY there are in the world. I just commented on a post from amalah and there were 28 other comments before mine. 20 of them have their own blogs.

That is overwhelming. Lots of people in the world have something to say. If you are reading– thanks. You have lots of other options out there and I’m happy to have you along for the ride. It’s good company.

I think I’ve been distracted because I just watched the movie, “Julie & Julia” and I’m reading “Bitter is the New Black”. Both are stories of women who started blogs and made a career out of it. HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN?! These are women with exceptional writing abilities. Maybe they got on the blog bandwagon before everyone and their mother had a blog. Or maybe they are just that good.

So this is my project.

WARNING: Anything recieving this much attention from me with most likely self-destruct from all the smothering. I have obsessive tendencies. My apologies in advance.

An Abomination.

I just sent in an RSVP for a party. On the bottom of this invitation it says, “This is a formal affair”.

FORMAL. I haven’t even thought of such things since high school prom. Scratch that… I’ve been a bridesmaid a time or two since then. At least when you are a bridesmaid your dress is already picked. I didn’t have a choice. Which, in my book, is fantastic. I am not a fan of shopping for dresses (or the ridiculous amounts of supportive gear that goes underneath them). This is mostly because I hardly ever find dresses that fit. This brings me to my point.

As many of you already know, I am a rather substantially sized woman. However, I am NOT plus-sized-and-proud, like so many women on Jerry Springer or  ComedyCentral. This means, that there are few stores in the WORLD that supply clothes that fit me well.

I was perusing one of my favorite store’s website earlier. I like this store because [most of the time] they don’t take clothes that pocket-sized, 17 year old cheerleaders would wear and just make them bigger [I'm looking at you, Old Navy!]. They actually reshape their jeans and whatever so that they will cover women’s butt cracks. Amazing concept.

I was clicking through the website and decided I should see if they might have something for this party that is only a few weeks away. I click on the “social occasion” tab and the very first thing that pops up is “WIDE LEG VELOUR PANTS” (with an elastic waist, of course)!

Please tell me– what occasion is appropriate for velour pants? Shopping at the dollar store? Buying false eyelashes at WalMart? Getting a weave? Getting your nails did?

Ladies and gentlemen… velour pants are just wrong. I don’t care if you are JLo– they are still wrong. But they are even wronger (yes, it’s a word- ask Kanye) if you are large-and-in-charge. Who needs pants that are elastic, clingy AND fuzzy?

Needless to say, I will not be purchasing this fine suggestion for formal wear. I am thinking about a nice tea length black dress with a beaded belt… and  a shrug. My bare arms are just something the world doesn’t need to see.

I am not listening to Bob Marley right now

Okay, yes I am. It’s on Pandora… and I like it.

Elliot is sleeping. Andy is at work (on a Saturday- boo). The house is quiet… except for me and my dreadlocked friend. This doesn’t happen often. I have nothing to do. I prepared for my class tomorrow. I washed the dishes. There isn’t enough laundry to worry about. I’m sure I could come up with something- but I’m good.

I rented “Extract” from Blockbuster yesterday and I really want to watch it right now… but I think I should wait for Andy. Right? That’s what good wives do.       Or     I could watch it now and not tell him that I watched it and pretend that its all new when he wants to watch it later. Who am I kidding? I am potentially the world’s worst secret keeper. I don’t really imagine that being a movie of insane plot twists… but I just couldn’t fake it being my virgin viewing.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO FOR THE NEXT TWO HOURS?!

I guess my new favorite thing to do is write down all of my trivial thoughts here. Lucky you.

I’ll spare you the agony of writing out of boredom… until then, I’m a buffalo soldier.